I watch her skip everywhere she walks, she sings as she goes. She always has a ready smile at her lips. She is radiant. She is full of joy, and I get to call her daughter. She is mine. These days as I watch her grow, and become, I wonder about her, the other girl who resides beyond the gates of pearls.
I wonder if she too would love all things sparkly. If she would have fair hair and eyes and if she would giggle with every step. I wonder if she would love babies and tea parties and if she too would put stickers on anything that would remain still long enough for her small fingers to peel the sticker off and press it on. I wonder if she would insist on sleeping in her sister’s bed at night and whisper secrets into her ears. I look at this girl here, and I wonder about the one who has gone before.
When it was time for me to say my earthly goodbyes, my final words to my grandmother who had been so influential in my life, there was no wondering of what to say. How do you say goodbye to someone who has been so dear and special to you for all of your days? I whispered my goodbyes, and begged her to say hello. I whispered about the other girl. I asked her to hold her for me. Who can wrap their mind around the heavenly?! It is foolishness to think that she could want for anything, and yet, I couldn’t help asking, “Could you tell her I love her?”
My life is full. Is there anything better than a houseful of children? Our walls ring with laughter and our hearts are full of love. How can a house so full be missing anything? But, yet this mommy knows, there will always be a pair of shoes missing at my front door.
Her wisdom has far exceeded mine. She is clothed in beauty. She is with her King. She resides beyond the gates. HE has given her everything. She lacks nothing. I cannot wish her back. She has made heaven even sweeter for me. How can I ask Him for anything more? And yet, I cannot help but whisper, “Lord, could you keep her little for me?”