Words

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“Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips.” Ps. 141:3

Angry words tumbled, his and mine. A disrespectful little tongue, an opportunity for me to teach, instead became my stumbling ground.
“I’m just afraid of what you are going to become when you speak this way!” The words were out of my mouth before I had time to assess the damage they would have. My careless words were now written all over his little face.
Crushed, he looked up at me. “Well, at least I have a long time before I grow up, Mom.”

I scooped him up. Tears mingled, his and mine. Apologies were offered. Forgiveness is sweet. He was wrong, but I was worse. I was projecting forth into my fears, not into His plan. Mommies sometimes don’t realize the hold we have on these precious little hearts. Spending time in His Word each day, is my source of all things vital. After that time, choosing to dwell on what He has for me, and speaking these truths over these little heads, is what I so often forget.

As those sweet big, brown eyes looked up into mine and he reminded me that it is a long time before he grows up, I knew the truth. How can I convey to him, that it was just yesterday he smiled at me for the first time? Just yesterday I held his chubby baby body next to mine. Just yesterday he was in the high chair. Suddenly, he bathes himself, can make his own peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and rides a bike with great skill. Oh, sweet boy, if only your growing up was a long way off! He doesn’t see how so much has already happened. If all of that is just yesterday, then tomorrow he may be a man. Tomorrow he may be too old to tell me I’m beautiful and smother me with kisses. Tomorrow he may be preparing to leave and make his own way.

Oh, please, Lord! These days are moving too quickly for me! Let me make the most of these short minutes. Let me speak Your words over him. Let Him become all that you would have him to be. Let me be his encourager, and supporter. Let me guide him, and when my hand needs to be firm, let my words be gentle. And Lord, let these moments last a little longer, because when tomorrow comes, and he’s grown, I’m going to forever miss this little boy of today.

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About bindmywanderingheart

I am a child of God, wife of Justin for 12 years, and mom of 4 incredible kiddos. Our daughter, Lydia has congenital glaucoma and fibrovascular downgrowth. Join us on our journey as we fight the darkness of Lydia's eyes, and of this world.

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