Saying yes

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“He setteth the solitary in families;”  Ps. 68:6

It all began innocently enough.  I was showing the boys the Susan Boyle youtube video when she first wowed the judges.  We talked about prejudices, and I felt good about the character lesson I had shared with them.  When it was over, youtube suggested another video.  The boys pleaded for one more, and I consented.  This one was a little boy who was an orphan with a voice like an angel.  I was brought to tears myself hearing his story and hearing him sing.  When it was over, the boy with eyes that so mirror my own tearfully implored, “Mom?  Can’t we adopt him?”  I assured him that the whole world was probably willing to take this child in, and we need not worry about it.  I was poisoning him with my own narcissism.  We watched one more, this one was a 19-year-old boy who was also an orphan.  He was too old to be adopted, and the young nearly man, wept in front of the cameras from his life long wish of a family.  A little hand on my arm, and those big eyes again, “How about him, Mommy.  He needs a family.”  I was quickly becoming undone.  I spent hours that turned into days reminding myself that we had problems.  We were in no position to take in a broken child.  How could I mother a broken little one, when I was nearly broken myself?

Isn’t that what HE does, though?  He uses broken vessels.  He takes the pieces and molds it into something beautiful.  As the days passed, prayers were lifted from a little seven-year old heart, asking God to let us adopt an orphan.  Something happens when children pray.  Heavens open, and mountains move.  Perhaps it is because they are so innocent, their hearts so pure.  They are untainted by the worries of adulthood.  They embody altruism.  I saw in him who I wanted to become.

Justin and I talked.  We went over all of the logistics, and how none of it, not one piece made sense.  We would adopt eventually.  We agreed that now was not the right time.  Someday, we would step out, but not today.  Surely no one could blame us.  We had enough problems.  And herein was the lie.  That serpent is so very clever.  We had bought into the deception that to adopt would be to add to our problems.  How little value we place on children!  We have become a society that values convenience and easy living over taking care of precious little lives.  We say that we are pro-life.  We ardently oppose abortion.  But what of the babies whose mother’s choose life, but were unable to care for them?  What of them?  Are we pro-life for them as well?  Do they deserve the kind of lives our children enjoy?  Do they deserve to have a place to call home?

It was a pivotal moment for me, for us as a family.  We decided to change our line of reasoning.  Instead of saying it can’t be me, we started asking, why not me?  Declaritives became imploratives.  A still small Voice was calling, and we were listening.  I am so grateful for such a kind Teacher.  Because in all of my objections, what I didn’t realize was how strong love is.  HIS love for me, and my love for a little 5-year-old across the oceans.  Oh, He is so good to allow us to be a part of this!  He is restoring me by way of a small orphan boy.  How much I would have missed!  The best is yet to come, my friends.  The best is yet to come.  We are working on lots and lots of paperwork and getting ready to schedule the homestudy.  With each paper we complete, it is one step closer to our boy!

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About bindmywanderingheart

I am a child of God, wife of Justin for 12 years, and mom of 4 incredible kiddos. Our daughter, Lydia has congenital glaucoma and fibrovascular downgrowth. Join us on our journey as we fight the darkness of Lydia's eyes, and of this world.

2 responses »

  1. every time I come here and read something, I am blessed. every time. so exciting to watch God work in the families of people you care about. 🙂

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