“Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it! Prone to leave the God I love. Take my heart, oh, take and seal it! Seal it for Thy courts above.”
I am too am so prone to wander. I have asked the Lord this year to renew my mind. As I have struggled to “Take every thought into the obedience of Christ. Casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God.”
I have a high thing (lots, actually!) but one in particular. It can so easily become an idol in my life, and exalt itself against what I know to be true about God. It is Lydia’s healing.
I envision her whole, without this dreaded disease infecting her eyes. I envision her life without any more surgeries, without needing glasses, therapies, or eyedrops. I envision how beautiful our life would be, and my heart begins to wander. I begin to exalt MY plans above the plans of the Most High God. Oh, this is dangerous ground!
It is here that I know I must take those thoughts into captivity. I must bind my wandering heart to the One that makes the crooked places straight. I must submit. And it is here, in my brokeness, that I see beauty. I see that through our sorrow, our boys are learning compassion for others. I see how God has tenderly cared for all of our needs. I see promises that someday HE will wipe all tears away, and I realize how temporary this life is. I see how our family has been together on our knees, asking, but yet submitting. I see greater things are at work here, in this brokeness.
I believe in a God Who uses broken vessels. There in lies hope for me.